In March he saw me going into my apartment and I decided then to confront him. The rest of the times I never saw him, he would just leave the gifts/notes. So I spoke with him saying that I wasn't interested, that I had a boyfriend and declined his 5-10 invitations requesting me to go to lunch with him. NO!! Anyway I thought after that conversation that the whole ordeal would be over.
The next day he came again. I went to the police first just to file a police report in case anything did happen, they would have record of it. I didn't know the man's name, address or licence plate number so there was nothing they could do at that time anyway. This went on from mid February to mid March. With that latest note he left the address of the place he was working, asking me to come by.
Instead my boyfriend went by. They even had a conversation but only about work. However while they were there D recorded his licence plate number. I kept it with me but didn't return to the police. I thought that since I had told him no, and then didn't show up to his workplace he would get the point. A month went by and nothing, yay!
I thought it was done with. Until maybe a week or so ago I got another gift. That same day I taught in his son's class and he told me that his dad is going to be so surprised I was his teacher and that his dad loves me. This man has 3 kids, and a wife (also works within the school board).
I went to the police the next day and they told me he WAS a stalker. They looked up his licence number and got a phone number and address, they informed me that he was born in 1961. So inappropriate! They called him and left a "cryptic message" and said they would call me the next day when they got in touch with him.
The called the next day and said they spoke with him. That he was very nervous and apologetic on the phone. They said that he is to have absolutely no contact with me. He asked if he could apologize to me and they said absolutely not, no contact whatsoever. If he does contact me again he will be charged with criminal harassment and that they will let this whole situation be known. They reminded him that he has a wife.
I felt a little bad about the whole situation right after that phone call. However my parents and D were both saying that he brought it on himself, that I asked him to stop and he continued and that I shouldn't feel bad.
I haven't seen or received anything from him since then so I am assuming it's over. I really hope it is!
yikes that is really really scary. I am glad you have gone and made a successful report to the police and they know who he is. Do NOT feel bad about this. You have been quite clear with him, repeatedly, and his actions have been 100% inappropriate (and creepy). Keep yourself safe, particularly if you go back to his son's school again to teach.
ReplyDeleteGood for the police for taking action. This man is completely out of line. To have his child know that his dad "loves you". Nut job!!!
ReplyDeleteStay alert and if he does the slightest inappropriate thing again let the police know.
What a terrible situation he created for you. Nobody needs this! Do not feel bad at all! You have done nothing wrong. It is a shame that he acts like this when he is a "family" man. If you had not gone to the police his actions would only escalate.
He doesn't understand boundaries and hopefully the informative discussion with the police brought him some clarity!
Sadly, it's been my experience with stalkers that they're somewhat mentally ill, so they can't understand boundaries. The police weren't enough to get my stalker to leave me alone, and I had to take legal action (and frankly, they're still being a little creepy though less aggressively).
ReplyDeleteIt's really sad. Some people just need professional psychological help so they can learn where boundaries are.
wow thats kind of scary!!! I would be super creeped out!! glad to hear the police actually did something about it :)
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