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Friday, November 6, 2009

Having A Baby...

Not me! That's a few years away...

But I was talking to a teacher at the PA day today and she said that she has two kids (a boy and a girl) who are in their 30s, close to 40s now. They got married in their 30s, and wanted to wait until they had their life settled and some money saved before they had their kids. She said they had the "Canadian Dream" of owning a house, nice cars, etc.

She went on to tell me that she thinks they waited too long in order for everything to be in place to have kids before trying to have kids. As now both of her kids are having difficulties conceiving. Both her daughter and her daughter-in-law have spent approximately $20,000 in fertility treatments and have not been successful, and are finding it hard to come up with money for the next treatment. She wonders if they risked the chance to have kids because they were saving so much in order to be prepared for kids and live the dream.

Is it possible to save too much that you do not have a life? Should we really put our lives on hold in order to save for the life we want to live? Or is it just that these couples were saving/spending in the wrong ways?


  1. This is a very good post. I find my husband and I are constantly talking about this. We would like to wait a little longer to be just a bit more financially secure but on the other hand we want to have 2 children before either of us is 35. My husband had older parents (they were 40 when he was born) and while he benefited greatly from their financial security he feels that he missed out alot on the other things in life because his parents were already 60 by the time he finished high school. So, that is why we want to be pregnant within the next year even though waiting a year or two would make things more financially comfortable.

  2. Hmm. I don't really know. BF's sis went the exact opposite way - had them early, couldn't afford them. It's sad how some people who wait, then face problems with infertility. Anyway, I know that the right time isn't going to be anytime in the next few years - I've only just graduated, we're looking to get the very basics of financial stability, and BF is still up in the air about what he wants to do career wise. Eek!

  3. As someone who has had children late (when I was 36 and 40) and who also underwent fertility treatments, I would like to point out that the mother likely doesn't know exactly what went on behind the scenes or exactly why they "decided" to wait. She only knows what they told her! I certainly wish that we had had our kids sooner ... I am SOOO tired now ... but by the time we felt ready (not financially and not in our relationship, but just as people and potential parents) we were just the age we were.